Losing You:fic
by DillutionalInu
Summary: You cannot lose someone you never had...Sometimes it's better that way...But what if the one you wanted you had all along...A Hiei Kurama Yaoi fic..Plz read enjoy and review.
1. Chapter 1

**Losing You**

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**You cannot lose someone you never had..Sometimes it's better that way..But what if the one you wanted **

**You had all along?**

* * *

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_**Chapter One**_

_**Love Unspoken**_

_"Hiei...you are my friend. But I don't like you in that way." The Kitsune forced out a laugh. He had to work to keep The fire apparition from noticing the pain in it's tone._

_The little man grew red and defensive "It's not for you, you fool!"_

_Hiei didn't notice it through his friends facade, but at that moment, he broke inside. _

_Of course it wasn't for him, he tried to tell himself. He dosn't feel the same as I do. He has more important people in his life._

_"Yes, I was just joking, Hiei." He lied "It's for Yukina. Isn't it?" the little man nodded and Kurama smiled. _

_It was a fake smile, full more of pain and unrealized love than the happiness that would normally make a smile. But he was so well practiced at it, through his existance of lies, that the fire demon didn't notice._

* * *

It had been three long years since that day, and Kurama still saw his friend every once in a while when he happened to stop in the Makai. The little demon had never seemed happier than he did in the Makai with Mukuro. His patrol would also end in a few weeks, and Kurama guessed that He would join Mukuro in her home.

He let out a long sigh. He knew his love could never be returned, but, yet he longed for it to be. He longed to be with Hiei, to be more than just the friends that they had been over their many years.

The Kitsune walked into his room, flopping tiredly on the bed. He looked up at the cieling, bland and white except for the plastic glow in the dark stars that he had, had there since his childhood. For the millionth time he thought he should take them down, and then he saw, as he did everytime, the little fireball seeming to fly across the cieling, made into a sky.

_It's not only everytime I see you, but everytime I think of you...That it hurts._

He touched the black gem hanging from his neck and a single tear fell to the floor. There it spread and slowly faded into the tatami. Just as his feelings would have to fade within him.

* * *

Hiei's form outlined the shadow of the pale moonlight of the Makai, his features laxed as they rarely were against the trunk of a tree. The branch he perched on swayed drunkenly with the wind howling through the forest.

The little fire demon closed his eyes, allowing a fresh blast of icy air to hit him, inviting it to interrupt his turmoil of thoughts. But as it had been all day and for the balance of the evening it was to no avail. Green eyes haunted his mind, flashing through every inch of his being. It seemed as though he could see into the soul of the beholder, but, nomatter how hard he tried, could not breach into his thoughts.

The day he had seen his friend after the tournament had been a sorrowful one for Hiei. That day he had been assured that the Kitsunes feelings did not match his own. That had been confirmed by his words.

"Damn Him." He grumbled to the nothingness, letting the wind carry his words away with it. "How does he do this to me!" He yelled louder into the storm, standing on the branch. "How!"

Then it started to rain, as if responding to his angry howling. Lighning cracked overhead and Thunder roared along with it, drowning out his screaming.

"Why him! It shouldn't be him! He's my friend! He dosn't!..." His voice boomed into the dark, battling the noise of the thunder. "He dosn't!..."

A large blast of thunder shot overhead, shaking him from his turmoil of screaming. "He dosn't..." He muttered quietly into the darkness as he opened his hands, which had become tightly clenched into fists.

Blood spilled from the clenched fist onto his hand from the wounds where his nails had bitten into his palms. It spilled accross the silken, unmarked flesh of his fingers and soaked through the wrapping covering the dragon on his arm.

He layed his hands onto the tree in an effort to stabelize his realling mind, and the crimson ribbons of blood traced thier way down the trunk, painting a picture onto the wood.

_His hair...His rose..._

He shook his head into the black of the night, shaking droplets of water from his soaked hair. He had become proned to that in the past couple of months. Everything he saw reminded him of Kurama...Everything he heard, he touched, to him it all looked, felt and sounded like the Kitsune. Many times he would imagine that he heard his voice and turn to see no one there.

_Am I going mad? What is happening to me?_

He rested his head thoughtfully against the bark and it grabbed at his skin, etching it's mark onto his forehead. He didn't understand why he was always thinking about him. This feeling was new to him and the only way he could describe it was as the mortals in Ningen called 'love'

This love was supposed to be the king of all emotions. The sacred emotion that everyone looked for in Ningenkai. He knew that the women when talking amongst themselves had mensioned it as a floating sensation...or...More commanly as feeling as if you were going to explode.

Many of these sensations puzzled Hiei, because, yes, he did experiance all of these mortal sensations...but...There was something more...Someting..Special that he couldn't seem to explain, even to himself. Nothing was easy for him to explain anymore. Nothing exept that he had to see the Kitsune, he had to figure out what this was he was feeling. And he needed to stop it...NOW!

* * *

* * *

_Hey it's DillutionalInu here! Waz up? I updated the whole story because one of my reviewers had some constructive critisizm for me to make use of the line breaks and I took it! Srry about that :P I didn't know how to use the line breaks...Infact aside from typing and a couple basic things I'm almost completely computer illiterate. Well, a friend helped me out so I applied the line breaks...THX and CHOW FOR NOW! _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**Happily-Ever-After**

"Hiei?" Mukuro whispered to her sleeping friend. "Hiei." his head jerked up sleepily and she almost laughed at the sight of the marks etched into the side of his beautiful face from the bark he had been leaning against.

"Morning?" She asked, her sarcasm slicing through his still-sleeping mind.

"Oh yes, I suppose you find this very humorous, don't you?" He shot back at her, trying to smooth out his sleep dampered cloak.

"Well it's not everyday one gets to see you in such a state."

"Hn." He rubbed his tired, bloodshot eyes and hopped down from his perch. He hadn't come in the night before because of the state he HAD been in. She would have wanted to know what had happened.

_And it dosn't look like I am going to get out of questioning, anyway. _He thought tiredly to himself as the amusment in her eyes turned to concern. She could read him like a book.

"Really, Hiei, what's the matter? You havn't been like this since I've known you."

That was true, before he had something to do with his time, guard the portal. Now he was done with his shift, and had too much time to think. To think about that Kitsune and the cursed day after the tournament.

He brushed past Mukuro, giving his answer in silence. He didn't want to talk. Especially not about his issues now.

She turned to watch his little, black feature disappear in the large, bleak home they shared. Since he had come there her days, ironically, hadn't been as dark, but she could tell by the little apparition's demeanor that he did not feel the same. He only felt for her as a friend, nothing more.

She worried about him, at times, though. He wasn't the kind to let himself be bothered with anything...Or was he? Truth be told, she didn't know much about Hiei. He had never let her get that close, never shared anything of importance with her. He was almost as closed to emotion as she, herself was. Wasn't that what had attracted her to him in the first place? That they had both been through traumas that had left them cold? She had relished in the thought that someone could understand her pain. And he did understand her, well, infact, but now...she was starting to wonder...did she understand him as she had once thought?

* * *

I hold my rose

In my hand

Same color as your eyes

The ruby red

Sears to my soul

My true feelings I denied...

Light streamed through Kurama's window and into his eyes, blinding him as he tried to open them. He lifted his head off the feather pillow and swung his feet down onto the floor, his eyes felt gritty from sleep, but he forced them to open anyway.

He looked to his ceiling, expecting to see there, his little fireball, but was greeted with only blinding white. He had taken it and the other stars down last night. There was no more hope of Hiei coming back and he had to face that or he would never get over the little demon.

"Shuichi, dear? Are you awake?" His mother's familiarly feminine voice rang across the hall.

"Yes, Kaasan, I am."_ Unfortunantly._ He thought to himself, wishing that he had stayed asleep.

In his dreams, he could be with Hiei, he could escape from reality. Every morning, though, he woke disappointed to find that his love was not there, by his side. And every morning he was plummeted from his dreams into reality.

He pushed himself to his feet, willing the ankles of his all-too-human body to not give way under him. And still rubbing his tired eyes, he dressed himself and headed out of the back door.

Kurama headed toward his roses with a rare smile lightening his face as he reached down to one. His smile slowly turned to a frown as he noticed one of his precious plants dying. He ran his finger along the sagging, wilting blossom, and at his touch the petals opened and the flower became vital again.

_If only everything could be fixed as simply._ He sighed as he watched insects twirling on the breeze from one precious plant to another.

"Hiya!" a familiar voice boomed from behind his fence.

Kurama whipped to face the nameless intruder to his garden.

"Easy, jeez man, I aint gonna' kill ya'." Yusuke smiled as he swung his legs easily over the low chain link fence. "So man, what's been up? Haven't seen ya' in a while."

The smile on Yusuke's face was contagious, and along with embarrassment for not reconizing the voice of his friend he smiled as well.

"Hello Yusuke." He greeted back. "How have you been?"

"Fine I guess, but you didn't answer my question. What's been up?"

"Oh, nothing really." He lied, not wanting to make their meeting akward. "And with you?"

"Same, except..." A broad grin crept across his face, making him look like a small boy. "Kuwabara and Yukina...Are gettin' hitched!"

Kurama smiled, himself. Yusuke had already had his happily-ever-after wedding with Keiko, it was time someone else got a shot.

"And if that wasn't enough..." His smile grew even larger. "Guess who's going to be a dad." He waited for Kurama's answer before eventually answering himself. "Me dipshit! Me!"

He looked like a little boy at Christmas, with that silly grin smeared across his face. Kurama swore that if he smiled any larger his face would probably tear in two.

"Well, then congratulations...How long?"

"A month...She said she had wanted to make sure before she told me." So...Yuusuke was going to be a father in eight months...That was a scary thought. Kurama just hoped with all his might that the child was more like their mother than their father. Not only for their good, but for their poor, poor mother's as well.

* * *

Hiei stepped out of the hot springs, just south of his and Mukuro's bleak house. The bath had helped, somewhat to clear his mind, but not nearly enough. He desperatey needed a diversion from the thoughts pushing at his mind. Forcing him to think them.

He wrapped a towel around his slender hips and sighed, sitting on the bank of the spring, looking down into the water. There he saw the reflection of someone without sleep for almost foury-eight hours. The reflection of some poor loser fallen on hard times.

He laughed at the thought. Now he was even starting to sound like a ningen...Lovely. He rolled his eyes, rising to his feet and walking into the room that he occupied, completely unaware that Mukuro stood watching, troubled by her friend's reclusiveness as of late.

* * *

Authors Babble: _Hey ppls whaz up? This is the first one that I put a part of losing you, the pair of poems that I wrote just for this fic...So tell me what you think...This is my first fan fic. Plz also if you're a DBZ fan plz read that fan fic...It's kinda weird and Vegeta's really out of character but plz review any way ...Oh and plz review I beg of you. I'll take flames and constructive critisizm(don't think I spelled that right ') And as you can probly tell by my spelling I'm in dire need of an editor so if you would be so kind as to help me w/that I would really appreciate it. Leave your review for me! Plz! BB CHOW FOR NOW! _


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Sleepless Nights Painful Days**

Mukuro entered her friend's dark, bleak room. Swords hung on the walls limply, smelling distinctly of death and blood. It was not surprising since each of the swords had probly killed dozens, if not hundreds of different demons...Or humans.

The room was sparcely furnished. There was a lighted desk in the far right hand corner and a chair in the left. A bed also took up a small space along the wall in between the two. Above the bed hung a tear gem. She recognized it as Hiei's mother's gem. It hung limply from a black leather throng and sparkled in the small amount of light coming from the black curtained window. Under the glistening beauty of the gem sat another beauty, the one she had come here to see.

He sat on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting heavily on his knees and with his head lowered, drowsily hanging from his slim neck as if it were a thousand pound weight. His legs were bound, as they usually were, and his bare chest shone in the dim lighting, she payed no heed. She was used to seeing her friend this way.

A way she was not used to seeing him, though, was exhausted and pale. His eyes without thier crimson luster and with pain coursing through every inch of his frame. That is what she saw when he looked up to her, weariness etching deep lines into his face and dark circles into the hollows of his eyes.

"Hiei, what's the matter?" She asked him worriedly, her concern growing with every second he looked at her through his, now dead, crimson orbs.

"Just tired." He stated affirmitively. His voice dragging with each word.

"That's not it." She pressed, trying not to let her worry show in her features. "There's something else."

"I'm just tired." He insisted. He wasn't giving in to any of her prodding. "I haven't been sleeping much lately."

She could see her arguing would get her nowhere, so she changed her tatics, cunningly. "Why haven't you? I've never known you to be one who tires easily."

That is when his eyes seemed to come alive. However, they were not the alive she was looking for. They were not vital, nor vibrant. They were just angry. Fire seemed to spark in their depths, warning her of coming danger if she kept on.

No matter how much his eyes warned her that this was unwanted conversation she still pressed, leaving no chance for his escape. "Well? Answer me dammit!"

"Why do you care!" His frame flew up from the bed and he spread his legs and clenched his fists, as if he were about to enter a battle. And his small body seemed much taller in his furious state.

"Beacause it interferes with your training!" She lied, hoping that the hurt she felt would not show in her voice. "The more tired you are, the weaker you are!"

He seemed to deflate at that, flopping back tiredly on the bed and cupping his head into his palms. "Look...I...I apologize" He seemed to have a hard time making the words emerge. "I-I'm just tired, okay? I've been thinking too much lately."

"It's alright, Hiei." She allowed her eyes and voice to soften at him for a moment, giving in for now. Then she turned on her heal and headed, with all the dignity of a lord, out of her friend's room.

* * *

I'm yearning

For your touch

To hold you in my arms

Just thinking of you hurts

But to forget you

Is far too hard...

Hiei layed back again against the post of his bed, trying to quell his thoughts, to allow sleep to come. He kept remembering the Kitsune in his dreams. His dreams, however, had no place in this world. He wanted to forget. Thinking of his love hurt too much to endure. He just couldn't seem to forget. Hell, he couldn't even keep his thoughts from the Kitsune-youkai for a moment.

He allowed his head to flop back against his pillow, truly trying for sleep. He had always thought of sleep as being for only the weak, but he had been without for three days and it had really taken its toll on him.

He closed his eyes restlessly and in the darkness Kurama appeared. He held his rose and smiled just as he used to. No one had ever noticed what that smile did to Hiei. He could see it now, the scarlet strands of his hair spreading about his shoulders and his lanky body poised as it always was.

He had always wondered what it would be to touch his skin. Soft as silk, he supposed. Beautiful and pale, in deep contrast with the crimson strands of hair that flowed about his dainty features. He groaned softly and shook his head. Thoughts like this were going to be the death of him. He turned over and cursed fluently into the pillow untill he fell into a deep, and dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Hey Keiko!" Yusuke bumbled into the door, with less stealth that a Mazaku should.

"Finally, you're home! Where where you!" She yelled, her hands on her hips and her face stained red.

Yusuke grinned largely, as he did frequently as of late. "Cheating on you with a hot American." He joked.

She smiled at her husband's childish demeanor. Ever since she had told him of the baby, he had been obscenely giddy and had treated her like a queen. With him this way, it was hard to stay angry at him for long.

"Oh, I thought you where with the Irish one this time."

"Nah, she was out of town." He came up behind her and put his lanky arms around her ever-expanding stomache. "Actually, I went to see Kurama."

"Oh and how's he doing?"

"I don't know...He seemed a little out of it...I caught him off guard...That never happens."

She looked back at Yusuke. His smile had faded, and a concerned frown marred his handsome face. Worry showed in the dark depths of his chocolate eyes, and she couldn't help but wonder...Was there something wrong with the Kitsune?

* * *

Authors Babble: _Hey ppls waz up? So how'd you like chappie three? I would really like to hear about it in your reviews. (hint...hint...HINT). Do you get it? PLZ review! The ratios to how many ppl have read this story and how many actually review it are pathetic...AND discouraging! KK and with that said...I will take: constructive critisizm and/or flames...Or praise is welcomed as well. I really don't care as long as you review. Oh yes, and thx to all my reviewers that do have the decency to tell me what they think...I praise thee! I should have chapter four out in no time. If you have any thoughts that you don't want to put in your review feel free to e-mail me. Oh and sorry for the chapters being so short, (and maybe a bit boring) But the real action comes soon, thx for sticking with me.THX and CHOW FOR NOW!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four **

**Tears**

Hiei had been avoiding her as of late, and she was sure she knew why. Afterall, she was sure that her pressing as to what was bothering him had made him uncomfortable. Did he expect her to just sit and watch him getting worse and worse each day? No! She wouldn't do it! She couldn't just sit by and watch her friend be consumed by his grief over something that he refused to share.

With this fueling her restless mind, and Hiei gone to the city, Mukuro opened the door to his room. The thick, black curtains were drawn, as they always were, and she opened them, dust sprinkling on the floor, so she could see. The gem above Hiei's bed glistened with the sunlight streaming through, and it seemed to dance along the surface of the walls.

She started to rummage through the things on his desk, hoping to find some sort of clue as to why her little fire demon had been acting so strangely. She flipped through countless, blank papers before she came to a small folder. She opened it, not willing to miss anything that might be of some clue.

The yellow paper folds parted and out of it spilled three small pictures. One of them was a picture of Koenma's spirit detectives, of them including Hiei. She payed no heed to it. She was sure that Hiei, no matter how cold he seemed, had an attachment to his friends. Two of them featured a girl that Mukuro had never seen before. She had long blue hair, and dazzling crimson eyes, that closely resembled Hiei's. One of the pictures had the same girl, only with a tall, clumsy looking red head next to her.

Mukuro flipped over the picture and in bold, elegant scroll, there lay a small letter.

_Hiei,_

_I am sure this news will not much be to your liking...But I feel you have the right to know that your sister is to be married within the next three weeks to Kazuma Kuabara. Yes, to Kazuma. As I said I'm sure it is not to your liking. Everyone would enjoy your attendance if you could show. I am sure your sister would appreciate it, even though she sees you only as a friend, and not of kin. Not only she, but I as well would enjoy your company...After all I have not seen you in quite some time. Yusuke, Botan, and Koenma, who shall also be attending have said they should also like to see you have you the means. Inside I have inclosed a picture of us, and two of Yukina for you. I hope you are fairing well in demon world with Mukuro and hope to see you at the wedding on May 3 of this year._

_Your Friend,_

_Kurama_

She flopped down onto the chair infront of the desk and sighed. So that was why he was acting so strangely. She slammed her fist down onto the desk. How could she not have known! Had his friendship only been an illution! Why didn't he tell her! Red indignance stained her face. After all she had told _him _the least he could do was share some of his burden with her.

At her slamming fist a small box fell and out of the desk spilling more photos. She picked them up and looked through. They were all of the same person. A dainty, red headed man with leaf green eyes and creamy and smooth skin. This she knew to be Yoko Kurama.

_What the hell? _She thought, stunned by the overly large collection. _And what does he have to do with Hiei?_

* * *

Will there ever be anyone else

I wonder

As a tear slips from my eye

An ebony droplet

Blood tainted red

From the years my tears were dry...

Sadness weighed heavily on Hiei's heart. How could he not have been there? He had missed out on so much in the past three years. Now his sister was marrying, and she still had no idea about his kinship to her. He had not been there to see any of it. He supposed that everyone had probably gone on with their lives. He had heard of Yusuke and Keiko's wedding, but had not attended. He supposed that they were well on thier way to having a family.

What pained him the most, though, is that Kurama had also moved on. He had probably all but forgotten about Hiei and sent the letter only out of courtesy. He was probably well liked in whatever college he was attending and, Hiei guessed, had a girlfriend there as well. A shudder rippled through him at his thoughts. Just thinking of the Kitsune with someone else made his blood run cold.

"What would ya' like sir?" A large robust voice called him from his thoughts.

He was sitting on a hard, wooden bar stool, staring blankly at the dilapitated walls of the room. There were people on the floor dancing and others sat at tables in groups. Around him were other singles, either there, as he was, to drown their pains or to pick up a partner for the night.

A tall man with a few small growths on his head and four arms was staring at him, waiting for his answer.

"Sake. Bottle." He slipped a few bills across the table and the bar tender took them and handed him a bottle.

"Hard times, huh?" The man asked, trying to make conversation. Hiei just glared up at him, stopping anything further the tender might have said.

He sipped the sake slowly, letting the warm sensation trickle through his body. He sighed deeply and leaned against the bar, all the time taking in larger amounts of the alcohol..

He watched the couples dancing on the floor and the groups of friends at tables chatting about. They had no idea how cruel the world was, and they didn't really care, as long as they had each other. Hiei huffed. They wouldn't care untill they no longer had their friends or the ones they loved. They would have no idea of pain until those people were no longer there.

Slowly, his bottle of Sake dwindled down, and slowly Hiei's mind ebbed to a crawl. The liquid filtered through him, warm and comforting. Slowly his pains drained away. Slowly, he stopped thinking at all. This is where he wanted to be. No green eyes piercing into his subconcious. No red hair twirling about his fingers. Just the night. The night and the sweet, sweet alcoholic poisons to shatter his thoughts.

Not soon after he had reached his solace, a little blonde girl with dog ears and a wry smile glided easily up to him.

"Hey cutie." She said smoothly, silk layering her words.

"Get lost." He slurred, trying to keep his voice from swaying.

"Hey, don't be that way, now." Her lip jutted out in a playful pout, which was not at all pleasing to Hiei.

"I said get lost!"

"Hmph! Fine then you ungrateful loser!" She huffed. "You're just lucky anyone's willing to give you the time of day with that sorry attitude!" She stomped back to the table she had come from.

He didn't care. He didn't want the time of day from anyone else, just his Kitsune. The Kitsune with the green eyes staring into his soul. The Kitsune with red hair spilling about his shoulders.

A tear slipped from his eye, lingering silently on his cheek.

"What's the matter with you, man?" The bar tender boomed in his ear. "You cryin'?"

The tear dropped from his cheek and formed into a gem, glistening slightly in the darkness. It fell onto the bar and bounced off.

"Whoah! You're a--" But Hiei would hear no more.

He ran out of bar furiously, trying to keep his drunken body upright. He dodged the clamoring bodies around him, tears now streaming from his eyes, clattering onto the ground. Nobody seemed to notice. He stumbled through the door and rain met his eyes on the outside. The dirt streets seemed to move in his mind, swaying back and forth, daring him to balance on them.

He walked along the streets, tipping from side to side, his legs jello beneath him, his ankles not wanting to bear the burden of his weight. He spyed a small alleyway. It didn't sway as the ground did, so he made his way toward it. Every step seemed like a mile and his stomache turned the whole way.

Green eyes still haunted him, and drove him forward. He tryed to escape from the caresses they bore to his soul. Soon, though, he could walk no more. He braced his arms on a large pile of metal, but, eventually, even this could not sustain his legs and he fell, his limp body toppeling to the ground.

The gravel covering the dirt alley marred his line of vision and rain hid the tears streaming down his cheeks. However, what the rain and gravel could not hide was the ebony, blood tainted gems strewn around him. He reached out and grasped one of the tiny, sparkling beads into his hand. He closed his palm tightly around it, and held on, as if it were his only key to life.

Darkness slowly settled upon him and unconciousness wavered at his door. He wecomed the shadowy lumenescence surrounding him, with open arms, hoping for escape from the Kitsune who haunted his dreams. He slipped, slowly under the dismal cloak of his mind...And there...In the center, lay a face he knew all too well...

* * *

_Authors Babble: Hey ppls it's me again. Another chapter to my first story. Tell me what you think. l would really like to know. Truly I'll take flames constructive critisizm...ANYTHING if you just review. I know I bug you ppls about this every time don't I? Well I'm srry but really it's too bad , beacaus if more ppl would review I wouldn't have to bug you guys . THX again to all my reviewers You guys are GREAT! Oh yes and I did fix the lines on my changes of ppls. Srry about that, I didn't know how to do them beacaus I'm technology impared! . So thanks again for being so awsome and CHOW FOR NOW!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**Hoping for a cure**

A soft kiss pressed his lips and he leaned into them, letting them caress his soul. But, they were cold, not as he had pictured them to be. Then, just as the his Kitsune was about to pull back, a sharp pain seared through him, coming from his abdomon. He groaned, but it was as if no one could hear, and the pain kept coming in steady beats, one after the other.

"Get up you asshole!" A loud, harsh voice ripped into his dreams. "I said get up, goddammit!"

Hiei opened his eyes and tried to focus them. Above him stood Mukuro, kicking fiercely at his gut.

"All right! I'm up!" He growled, bracing his arms under him in preparation to rise.

"Finally!" She roared. He could see the anger burining inside her eyes and inwardly he cursed. Today was going to be _long_.

He forced himself up, and still drunkenly dizzy, he swayed.

"Whoa! Watch it!" Mukuro warned as he grasped onto her shoulder for balance. She placed her hand under his arm, in her trial to help him stand.

He ripped away from her. "I can stand on my own!" He slurred as he teetered forward, trying for the seemingly impossible task of keeping his feet under him.

His trials were to no avail, and his feet turned to jelly, and he fell back down. The gravel stung his cheeks as he hit the cold, hard earth, and he groaned. Mukuro stood above him, with her hands on her hips, looking down.

"Told you, you needed help." She snapped, anger poisoning every word.

"No I do n---" But his words were inturupted by a naseous roll of his gut.

He tried to close his mouth, and to hold in the vomit he knew was coming, but he couldn't. He spilled his bowels out at Mukuro's feet. The taste in his mouth was horrible and he started coughing and spitting. He could see Mukuro shaking her head as she reached down and wrenched him upward.

"Come on, you idiot!" She ordered, but her words really didn't matter any. She might as well have been carrying him as she hauled him down the cobbled streets.

* * *

As she sat there watching him sleep, all of her ire drained away. She had a hard time being angry with him,while at the same time, she was thinking of how beautiful he looked.

He looked so peaceful, a great difference from what he had been only an hour ago. An hour ago she had found him laying in the allyway of the city. When he hadn't come back last night, it had worried her a great deal. She had thought at first that he might have been dead. After seeing, though, his powerful chest rising relief had flooded over her, like the rain that soaked his cloak had drenched him.

It was then that her anger had flaired. If he wanted to kill himself, then _fine,_ but he wasn't going to make her worry in the process. Then, out of her anger...Unable to stop herself, she had started kicking him. He had opened his eyes then, and her heart had jumped, but anger drowned out all attempts at caring.

She had drug him home, after he had thrown up at her feet, and close to a mile away from their home he had passed out, and she had, had to carry him.

Now his beautiful crimson eyes fluttered open, and her heart, once frozen, melted at the sight. Even though his cheeks, instead of thier normal, healthy flush, were yellow, and his scarlet eyes were dull and pain-filled, she couldn't keep her insides from liquifying.

"What the hell am I doing here? Mukuro? What happened?" He questioned, his eyes becoming keen to his surroundings.

It was then that her anger flared again. _I saved your ass you stupid bastard! That's right, I care about you! But you don't seem to notice, you don't seem to even care! _There were so many things that she wanted to scream at him. To yell, untill they penitrated his thick skull. Instead she concentrated on the cause of his depression.

"I drug you home...After your drinking binge last night."

* * *

She proceded to question him. His head pounded in his ears and his stomache rolled. He really wasn't feeling well enough for this.

"Oh yeah, that...Well...Um...Thanks." He replied coldly, rolling over and trying to shut his dry, blood-shot eyes.

She grabbed his shirt and pulled his face to hers. "Is that all you have to say, you stupid bastard?" He could see the anger sparking in her eyes...And if he wasn't mistaken...Was that...Pain?

"Um...What else is there to say?"

"What else? WHAT ELSE? I'd say there's a hell of a lot more to say than that!" Pain roared on it's path of distruction through his head. "How about why! Was it your sister's marriage, who by the way you oh-so-conveniantly forgot to tell me about! Or...OR how about Youko? You know you have an awful lot of pictures of him for it to just be a friendship! Which...Did I mention you also forgot to tell me about!"

His heart jumped into his throat. Why had she looked into his things? His pictures...His letter! "Why did you look through my things! Those are all I have of my own!"

"Because, I wanted to know, Hiei! I wanted to know why you where losing weight! Why you couldn't sleep at night! I wanted to know why you couldn't look me in the eye, and why, when you did you always looked like you where about to cry! And now I want to know why you had gems around you when you woke up!"

He was sure his face was ghostly by now, and as he looked into her eyes, the pain was prominant and unavoidable. He knew that no amount of talking and negotiating would get him anywhere, and so, even though he knew the answer, he asked the inevetable question. "Why...Do you...CARE!"

"Because, Hiei..." She was fighting with herself, her mind warring against her emotions. "Because, I care for you...I...I love you."

Her eyes were that of a frightened animal. The anger had melted inside of them, and now there was only pain to glaze them over.

He looked into them, and of all times, he thought of Kurama. He loved his kitsune, but had no feelings for Mukuro. But...People had said that love could grow out of friendship. That caring could come of respect. Maybe, just maybe, he could get over his kitsune if he could find a way to love the woman whose eyes where staring into his at that very moment.

They sat there for what seemed like an eternity, and then, with one, swift movement, he kissed her. Her mouth moved under his, but he felt nothing. Just the unsatifying sensation of flesh upon flesh. This kiss was nothing that he had imagined his kiss with the kitsune to be.

That kiss was beautiful and warm. In that kiss, red hair tickled his cheeks and strong, lanky arms wrapped about his waist, lulling him closer into his fantasy.

He moaned softly, leaning into Mukuro's lips, imagining that she was his Kitsune. Maybe...Just maybe if he could bring himself to love her...Just maybe then, he could be free of the hold that Yoko-Kurama had on him.

* * *

Kurama sat, staring out his window at the stars, tears slipping from his cheeks. He fingered the rose in his hand and it tore at his fingers, sending blood flowing down his wrist, pelting onto the white paned windowsill. He had been crying for almost a day straight now. His mother had tried to coax him out of his room with his favorite foods, and with tales that his roses where going to die if he didn't water them soon. He knew, though, that she wouldn't let them die. She had probably been tending to them every day just as he always did...and...Even if she hadn't been, he couldn't convince himself to step outside. It had been such nice weather lately, and in his state, he couldn't go out into it. Mother nature, for the first time in his many...MANY, years, seemed to be mocking him.

Earlier that morning, a terrible feeling had flooded his stomache, and a terrible thought entered his mind. Hiei had moved on without him. He had moved on with Mukuro, was recieving training from her. His worry was that he had fallen for Mukuro...It was certainly possible. They had so much in common, especially in thier past. Both of them had so much pain in thier lives it was hard for them to function in society. They understood each other, and with rumor in demon world, it was very easy to believe.

With his thoughts reeling in his mind he opened his window and jumped out, his destination...School.

He entered the building quietly. Night classes where regularly held there, but on the break there was no class held. Never-the-less, the school doors where open for the instructors insane enough to come in at night. His shoes made a long, loud, clopping noise on the marble floors and it echoed throughout the empty school building. Any other time this might had been slightly unnerving, but Kurama was there with a purpose.

He entered the botany lab and the door clicked shut behind him.

The instructor for the class, one of the insane ones, poked his head through the closet door. "Shuichi?" He asked, his beady eyes scanning the room. "Is that you?"

"Yes, sensei, it's me."

"Here for a little midnight study?"

"No, sir. Just here to check on my experiment." His midterm experiment had been the growth of lillies with and without the use of different pesticides.

In this experiment, the students had, had to make their own fertilizers and pesticides from a mixture of different chemicals, and compare growth results of the different combonations.

"Alrighty, then!" He chirped, and his head drew back into the closet.

Kurama walked over, to the lilies easily. There were multiple chemicals used for the mixtures. He picked up one of the chemicals placed carefully in the line of poisons. CN, his mitigation, cyanide, and placed it, tenderly into his pocket.

_

* * *

__Author's Babble: Hey ppls it's me again...So how'd you like chappie five? I'm really getting into writing this! It's really fun! I think Mukuro seems out of character...Do you? I'd really like your opinion on this subject...keeping ppls in character...I guess that's my main challenge right now. Oh yes and I know I'm dragging Mukuro into this and trust me it will still be an HK fic, just bear with me and my story-line KK. It will all become clear. Thx to...THE FEW...THE PROUD...MY REVIEWERS! JOIN AND BECOME ONE TODAY!_ _Well anyways thx and CHOW FOR NOW!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

**A Razor's Solace**

He woke up feeling worse than the night before. He couldn't belive he had done what he did. He rose from the bed, and only then, did he realize that Mukuro was still sleeping on the pillow beside him, her normally wild hair, limp against the bed.

Hiei groaned. Why did he always have to get himself into these messes! He always seemed to screw himself over!

He carefully pulled on his clothing, trying his best not to wake her, grabbed his boots, and tip-toed outside. There he pulled them on, and flitted into the trees, hoping to get away from all the lovey shit that she was sure to pull. The kind of shit that she had pulled the night before.

It was not like Mukuro to do something as idiotic as what she had done last night. He wondered if she had taken a few too many drinks, herself. He had been taken aback by her behavor, and had let himself be caught off guard. He should have known not to think of a woman as a predictable creature...That _always_ came back to bite him in the ass.

His night, also, hadn't helped as he had hoped. He had assured himself that it would help him forget his Kitsune, but instead of forgetting him, he had only longed for him. Every time he had looked at Mukuro, he had seen the Kitsune. He had seen leaf green eyes, and scarlet hair. He had imagined a rose, being plucked apart. Piece by beautiful, piece.

He wouldn't..._couldn't_ let that happen again. He had to get away from her. Away from the dangers he imposed upon himself. But where would he go? That was a question he had no answer to. This was the only place he had ever, really called a home. But, he couldn't anymore. Not if he wanted to stay sane, that is.

Then he remembered his sisters wedding. He had recieved the letter two weeks ago, and May third was steadily creeping up on him. He had not planned to attend the wedding, but with the situation he was in, he could use this excuse to hide in ningenkai until he had a chance to make other arrangements.

A little later he scuttled back inside. He grabbed a peice of paper and wrote a hurried note down onto it.

Mukuro

leaving to clear head. Not coming back. Bye.

Hiei

He placed it, carefully, outside the door of his bedroom, to where she could see it. He could only hope that she wouldn't be too angry when she saw it. But, it really didn't matter, she wouldn't find out where she was...Or, so he hoped.

As my sorrow seaps

Through me

Anger and scorn

Rebuke

And in the center

Of my mind

There appears

An image of you

Kurama held the razor in his hand tightly, whispering conjurings of his thoughts to himself. He had talked himself into picking up the blade, and now all he coud do was stare at the sharp edge that was daring the irrational part of his mind to slide it across his skin.

He started slowly, dragging the blade across the top of his wrist. He had heard that it could be addictive; seeing your own blood flowing out of you. And it was. In fact, no amount of wording could describe the high that you could induce without any pills or drugs. Well, that really wasn't true. The scarlet droplets were drugs in themselves. They induced the mind into a state of numbness, and held the body hostage to them.

Suddenly, with these thoughts flitting through his mind, he wanted more. He flipped his wrist over and sliced the biting razor into the deep veins of its soft tissue. He layed his hand over his bathroom sink, and let the blood drip down over the white porcelian. It stained the ivory and the color sent his mind wandering.

Hiei's eyes were the same color. The same lusterous crimson of the blood staining his sink, flowing down his wrist. He cursed himself, silently. He had let out the blood to let out his sorrow, but now that he was thinking of the little fire demon, his sorrow only grew.

He had wanted to be numb, as he had been only a few minutes before. Anger cut a deeper void into his greif, and it built up, as it rarely ever had inside of him. As his heartache grew, also did his rage, and soon he was allowing the blade to sink deep into the main arteries along his wrist.

"Damn you!" He whispered into deaf ears. "Damn you!!"

"You always do this to me! You bastard!" He let his voice escalate only slightly, for fear of calling attension to himself.

"I h-hate you." He whispered, his eyes glazing with pain, and his voice impossibly hollow.

He slowly brought the hand that wasn't bleeding to his opposite wrist. His ki flowed into the tattered appendage, and it was healed with only a slight mark to show for all of his trouble. He picked up a towel from behind him and started mopping up the mess in his bathroom before Shiori saw the scarlet stains.

_Author's Babble: Waz up peoples again! It is I, the all powerful and all mighty...Well you get what I mean right? The idiotic and stupidly optimistic. (mind you, I speak in code.) Well anyway, enough about me, how about you? And the story? How was it? You're going to review, right?...RIGHT?! KK well plz review PLZ! (also in code. What I really mean is : review or I will come to where you live and chop off your limbs with a hack-saw.) BWAHAHAHAH Just Kidding...Well anyway thx and CHOW FOR NOW!_

_Or was I kidding? Find out in the next chapter._


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

**Bittersweet Reunion**

Mukuro's body quaked with anger as she held the paper in her hands. Upon it lay Hiei's trademark, ill-practiced and childlike script. What had thier night together meant to him? Nothing? Did he not care for her at all? She was not just some common whore, and would not let this fact be unknown to the little demon.

With one quick stroke of her hand she tore the paper in two. She had endured so much in her time, she should have known she could never be happy. Especially not with someone as cold as herself. She should have known she could never be understood, let alone loved by the likes of someone like him.

Along the edge of his small desk was the note from Yoko Kurama, that she had read two days before. She picked it up and read it over again. It was then that the thought hit her. He had gone for ningenkai. Most likely to escape her.

She raged through the room, the sheet she had wrapped about her dragging. She burst into her own room, hurriedly dressed and called in her cloaked servers. They entered, eerily silent, each one of them, she was sure, with their own thoughts as to why she had summoned them.

"I am to leave for the ningenkai." She told them, watching solemnly, their faces turn to shock. They had probably guessed, between them everything...Except this. "Make all the necessary arrangements. Send message to Enki. I am to leave within the week."

No, her anger would not be left unknown by Hiei. As her servers left, thier masks of solemnity once again firmly in place she pulled a picture from the depths of her pocket. The man in it had scarlet hair, the color of a rose and was smiling warmly. She knew this man to be Yoko Kurama. This was the man she was sure Hiei was after, was depressed that he could not have. This was the man who was responsable for her heartache.

Her hand trembled and a small flame tumbled forward from it, igniting the picture. She watched the flame engulf him, it's glow reflecting in her good eye, translating into her features the tempered flame that the Yoko would have to face. He would know by the time she was done, not to toy with someone she loved...And not to toy with her.

It had been two days since he had left his home in demon world, five days since he had slept. He had been traveling non-stop since he had left, not willing to stop, lest Mukuro would follow. He didn't want to find out what she'd do if she found him. His muscles ached, exhasted, and his eyes drooped down. He may have been demon, but even demon's needed sleep.

He had entered ningenkai early that morning, and was now not far from the kitsune's home. He flitted through the trees of the town, hoping that the house would, suddenly appear from around every corner.

Despite his exhastion, a strange addrenniline filled him at the thought of seeing Kurama. Though, not too long ago he had not wanted to face the kitsune, for fear of the strange twisting of his stomache getting the better of him, now he was almost overjoyed at the mere thought of being near him again.

His thoughts had drifted far ahead of him, and soon he was zipping over a sea of scarlet flowers. He looked down, as he was passing, and just then realized that this was the house. Hiei came to a sliding halt and trudged to the door.

He thrummed his fist on the oaken wood, and it echoed back to him. Soon the muffled padding of footsteps met his ears, and the door creaked open. There in a sea of crimson hair, lay a pair of leaf green eyes, and porcelin skin. This was the face that haunted his dreams. He smiled, weakly to it, and held up his hand in greeting.

The beautiful face contorted with utter shock, but Hiei didn't notice, for he was falling to the ground for the second time in a week. As the cement came hurtling tward him he felt strong, lanky arms wrapping around him and stopping his fall. His face relaxed and dark settled in on him, willing him to his first sleep in five days.

Kurama sat next to his bed, watching his little yokai, on it, sleep. He looked peaceful and harmless in this state, his features softening under the glow of the moonlight cascading through his window. The kitsune had been watching the little demon since that evening, and exhaustion, teaming with the pain that the hard, strait backed chair that he sat on inflicted on him, was willing his tired eyes to close.

However, this was something that they refused to do. No matter how tired he was, he could not stop watching the beautiful man sleeping on his bed. His breathing was steady, and his chest seemed to rise and fall along with the rustle of the trees outside. It seemed as if time had stopped, just for this moment. Just so he could see his little yokai again.

Time passed slowly, with no relife of sleep to Kurama. His eyes drooped down many times, giving into his body's needs. His mind, however kept snapping him awake again. Slowly the night ebbed and near dawn he thought he heard a voice. He opened his eyes, groggily, to realize that he had slept. The voice, though, did not fade. The kitsune looked thoughtfully around the room for an answere to this unexplained phenominon.

"Shuichi?" His mother's face met his as he swung around.

This startled him and he pulled back, knocking over the chair that he sat on. This was, he found, largely, and disturbingly loud, and Hiei, at the sound, snapped awake.

"What the hell?!" The little man bellowed as he stood up on the bed, surprise marring his face.

He looked around the room, confused and startled by the noise that had awoken him. When he realized where he was, the surprise melted into embarrassment and he flushed at his outburst.

Kurama cast his mother a pleading look and she nodded in understanding.

"Would you boys like some tea?"

"That would be nice Kasan. Thank you."

She exited the room, without the slightest hint of suspicon, though he knew the questions were nagging at her. He would have to answere them later. Right now he had the beautiful man cloaked in black to attend to.

He sat in the darkest corner of the room, having moved off of the bed. His face was shrouded by the shadows, only his crimson eyes glistening in the darkness, adding to his mystery and allure.

"Hiei, you can come out of there, you know." Kurama sighed, hoping the little demon would show himself.

"I know..." He answered quietly, making no attempt to move. "...I'm here for the wedding."

The kitsune hoped that the shock on his face was not as apparent as it felt. If it was, though, Hiei made no notice. "I didn't think you would come."

"I didn't think I would either." His eyes, still visable in the dismal corner, seemed to soften for a moment, but quickly steeled again, hiding once more what he thought.

With that the little fire demon flitted past him and out the window, leaving only the rumpled sheets on which he had been sleeping as proof that he had ever been there.

"Goodbye for now, Hiei." Kurama let his whispers fall to the deaf ears of the lucid black surrounding him. To the wind that would whisk his words away, safely into the night.

Author's Babble:_ Hey waz up! See I told you to just stick with my story line! No more Mukuro to mess things up. Or is there? I guess you'll just have to find out! What did you think? I didn't know about this chapter. This chapter, chapter six and chappie five were slightly forced and so not as good as they could have been. I had a hard time letting Mukuro into the story line, but I knew that I had to...To make it work. I am still really enjoying writing this though! I know my spelling sucks and I'm really trying to improve but just bear with me OK? I hope you will. Also bear with me in the mushy-gooshy romance...It will come, I promise. I really am enjoying reading your reviews, and I'm getting more of them than I used to. If you don't feel comfortable reviewing on the web page just e-mail me, I have it listed. I'll take anything---constructive critisizm, flames (though they will probably for the most part be ignored) and of course praise is also welcome. Also, not to be picky but I really REALLY like long reviews, so if you could take extra time and tell me exactly what you liked and disliked I'd really appreciate it! THX and CHOW FOR NOW! _

_Answere to last chapters question:_

_I really will chop your arms_

_and legs off with a hack saw..._

_Or will I be that nice?_

_FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTER!!!! (repetitive aren't I??)_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

**Thinking Back**

Hiei let his legs swing limply from the branch that he sat on. The leaves rustled above him, and he could almost hear the song that they composed. It was a sweet symphony, full of longing, or at least that's what it seemed like to him. It was almost as if the core of the melody was to be decided only by the ear of the beholder.

He gave a long sigh, and layed his exhausted frame against the trunk of the tree. He had gotten himself into a mess, and instead of digging himself out, as he had hoped that he would, he had only gotten himself in deeper.

Now, not only did he have Mukuro to deal with, but he also had his feelings for the Kitsune to reconsider. He let out a chuckle, his tone cynical and quiet. He was screwed, and there was nowhere to turn.

His laugh slowly grew louder. This was ludacrouse! Everything he did to make things better, only made them worse. None of it was what he had intended it to be. Someone had to be behind all of this, laughing at him, watching him make a fool of himself from the shadows.

Waking up in the Kitsune's bedroom had been shocking, to say the least. He had made a complete fool of himself. Not only by his outburst after his waking, but also by falling asleep in the first place. He should have been stronger than that! He should have been able to deal with his feelings. But he hadn't been. That was the only thing that mattered...Not the should have...Not the would have...The only thing that mattered is that he hadn't.

Laying in that bed had brought many memories back to him. Many years ago he had lain in that same bed, healing from the wounds Kurama himself had inflicted upon him...

_"You stole it from me!" Hiei fumed._

_"Stole what? I've stolen many things in my time...But none from you." Replied the little red-headed boy._

_"Bullshit, you little bastard! Now give it back! It's mine!"_

_"I will say again...I have stolen nothing."  
_

_He gazed upon the taller boy, his body posture composed. His hair was short then, and a crimson red, the color of the blood that Hiei had lusted for in that time. His leaf green eyes glittered with calm purpose that infuriated Hiei._

_"Give...It...Back!" Hiei came swinging toward him, bearing a sword that was almost as large as himself. _

_The fight ensued quickly, and ended just the same. Hiei should have known this, for even as a human, the boy's energy was much greater than his own. It was that damn Jagan eye. He had had it inplanted by Shigure just months ago, and as the Doctor of the Damned had warned, it had dropped his demon energy to almost nothing._

_After the fight he had passed out, and woken up a few days later in the boy's bedroom. _

_"Oh, so you're awake, I see?"_

_"Hn." His anger and embarrassment at the boy's obvious pitty made him flush._

_"O...K...Maybe we should just start with names. I'm Shuichi, or...You're a demon right...You can call me Kurama."_

_"Grrr..." He was not going to share his name with the theif who had stolen his mother's tear gem...He was a human, how else could he be ommiting such a demonic energy?_

_"Look, I don't know what you think I've stolen...But I have never stolen anything from you...I think you have me confused with someone else."_

_It was only then, with the boy that close, that Hiei was able to realize that the demon energy wasn't coming from another source...It was coming from the BOY himself!_

_"What are you?"_

_The boy laughed,"Tsk Tsk... figured you'd catch me. My name is Youko Kurama...At your service."_

_Hiei grinned, he'd know that name anywhere. "Hiei..."_

He sighed into the blackness, where the sun was falling slowly into the horizon, seeming to paint the empty sky with it's color. He was so tired of everything. He was tired of hiding, he was tired of not saying anything. But, he knew that the Kitsune's feeligs for him would never breech the boundary of friendship.

He would attend his sisters wedding. He had known that since he had come. If for nothing else, it would be another chance to see the kitsune again before he departed, and resolve never...To see the fox again.

* * *

Kurama still stared at the bed where Hiei had lain. His sheets still smelled distinctly of the little demon. This scent, left lingering made Kurama want to crawl under the covers and encompass himself in the scent of his love, but at the same time he was afraid that if he did, the smell would fade.

"Shuichi?" Shiori's voice sounded from the doorway. "Is something wrong?"

He forcefully brightened his expression before looking at his mother. "No mother, nothing is wrong."

"Then why don't you come to the kitchen," she smiled in her sympathetic, motherly way, "I made you some tea."

He should have known better, Shiori always saw everything he was feeling, her smile told him so. He hated that fact, but what could he do? That was a mother's talent.

"I'll be there in a moment."

At this she closed the door and he shoved his hand into his pocket. The small glass jar within called more loudly than ever to him. He ran his hand over the smooth planes of it and fingered the glass. He longed to feel the burn of the liquid down his throat, but it would have to wait. He couldn't do this to Yukina and Kuwabara before their wedding day. He knew what it would do to his friends if he did it, and that it was selfish of him to even think of his own death, but wasn't he a selfish being...Wasn't he Youko? He didn't know anymore. All he could seem to feel...Was the pain...

She waited for him patiently. She knew of Yukina's wedding in Ningenkai...And knew that they would be there. Both her little demon and that damned Kitsune. She could give her warning to him then. He was never again to hurt Hiei...Never again to make him into the person that she knew him not to be. It hurt her to see him in pain...And no one hurt Mukuro without paying the price.

* * *

_Authors Ramblings: I know that chappie was painfully short, but I'm not going to drag it out and bore you. It's a romance not a soap opera. Another reason is because I want to save the upcoming events for the next chappie so I don't have to interupt the flow of the story any more than I absolutely have to. On another note, I'm sorry that they're out of character. I try, but I'm just a little too used to origenal stories. I like to shape my characters, and to go along with the story I'm afraid that the characters have to be just a bit...Off...From their origenal making. So I appologize on those two accounts. I really appreciate the reveiws I'm getting. I'm getting some good critisizm and also some very good praise. Thank you to all of my reveiwers. All reveiws are welcome. Critisizm is also appreciated and so is praise. Flames are also welcome, but they will mostly be ignored. If you don't like Yaoi...Don't want to hear about it...If you don't like angst...Don't want to hear about it...Don't like romance...DON'T want to hear about it because that is all in the discription of the story...Sorry to be rude but that's just how it is. Thanks again to my reveiwers...don't know how to thank you enough and CHOW:D_

_P.S. One of my reveiwers asked if I had any other stories and I do. Though, they are all origenal stories and only one is actively on the internet right now, and that is "As the Ivories Run Red." You can find that under Dillutional at Thanks agian!_

Dillutional


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter eight**

**Wedding date**

Kurama straightened his tie in the mirror and ran a brush through his hair one more time. Today was the wedding and he needed to look his best. Kuwabara had asked him to be one of the grooms-men in the wedding, and he had gladly accepted. Yusuke was the best man, as to be expected. After Yusuke had come back from the Makai, he and Kuwabara had become close once more, and now shared a freindship that would be coveted by most.

He refused to think of Hiei this time. It would only damper the jovial mood that everyone was currently sharing. They had come to learn not to expect anything from the little demon...That way, they could be happy if he showed, but they didn't have to be disappointed if he didn't...After all...He hadn't shown for Yusuke and Keiko's wedding.

"Do you enjoy toying with him?" The voice came out of nowhere, cold and probing, silently daring him to turn.

He could see her face in the mirror. One eye covered in glass, and roughly a quarter of her face by cloth...Mukuro...

"What...What are you doing in Ningenkai?"

"You didn't answere my question...Do you enjoy toying with him?" Her voice was starting to rise and he could hear the anger that flicked off her toungue.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me, fox...I know you've hurt Hiei. What have you done to him?"

Hiei? How had he hurt Hiei? It was the thought of that little demon that was hurting HIM!

"I would never do anything to harm him."

She came to him quickly, not allowing him time to react, grabbed his trachia in between her fingers and threw him up against the wall of the bathroom, as if he weren't more than a rag doll.

"LIAR." She hissed, "I know he loves you. You hurt him!"

LOVE? She thought Hiei loved him? That was a ridiculous implication...But...Could it be true?

"He dosn't love me..."

"Well he certainly holds you in higher reguard than he would just as a friend...But I don't care what you feel...Stay away from my Kuru-Hi Yokai."

With that she let him go, and slithered, as if without legs, out of the door.

HER Kuru-Hi Yokai? Love? Kurama puzzled...Love? Could it be possable? Could somewhere in his wildest dreams...Could it be so?

* * *

A wave of nasea rushed over Hiei as the I-Do's where said. Just thinking of the big, clumsy oaf with his sister made him want to throw-up. But...At least the one he loved...Loved him back. No matter how much the thought of them together made him sick, he really was happy for his sister and Kazuma. The fact that they loved each other was appearant in how they looked in one anothers eyes, as if there were no one else in the room...Or in the world.

"You may kiss the bride!" the preacher announced with joy.

Hiei looked away. He didn't think his stomache could stand to see them kiss. This would, if nothing else, definently make him hurl. Up on the alter behind Kuwabara stood Yuskuke, as the best man and Kurama as a grooms-man, and a couple other people that he didn't recognize. These were probably people they had met, and befreinded while he had been in the Makai. It was hard to think of them being friends with anyone, other than the team they had created years ago. Back then no one could know what they did, or what they were, and so they befriended no one, for fear that their daily activities would give them away.

Behind the bride, though, stood women whose faces were not new to him. Keiko, Botan, and Shizuru, were the brides-maids. Hiei almost laughed when he saw Genkai standing as the maid of honor. This didn't surprise him, however. Ever since Genkai had taken her in, Yukina had become very close to the old woman.

After the cerimony was the reception. People milled around, most of them not recognized by Hiei. A few shook Kuwabara's hand, and the men whom Hiei recognized as the one's that had been up on the altar during the ceremony, milled around laughing with Kuwabara, Yusuke and Kurama.

It was then that Yusuke spotted him. "Hey man, you came!" He ran up and embraced him in a big bear hug. "Long time no see, man! Look at you! Just the same as when you left!"

He wished he could say the same for him. Yusuke had grown from an akward, dilinquent boy, to a confident, intellegant man. Keiko had gone from cute and girlish to a beautiful woman. She had a healthy flush to her cheeks and her waist had expanded. Yusuke must have seen him looking her over because he moved to her and placed his arm, gently around her shoulders.

"Yup, you see the lil' bit o' roundness here? We're havin' a baby!" The silly grin on Yusuke's face made him seem younger than he actually was. He and Keiko where obviously as much in love as they had ever been, as they smiled at each other, the thought of the baby making them both giddy.

At Yusuke's voice Kuwabara turned. "Hiei? Is that you? It is! Little midget man came back to see the wedding!"

Yukina also turned away from her friends, along with her new husband. "Hiei!" She smiled at him, a beautiful smile that made him want to melt inside. She was still just as innocent as she had ever been. And was one of the only ones of the group (along with Botan) that he could say hadn't changed much.

It was then that he saw the Kitsune. He stood away from the others, just watching as they talked. His crimson hair spilled about his shoulders, deeply contrasting with the black of his tuxedo. His green eyes sparkled, even in the darkness, and Hiei couldn't look away. It was as if he was hipnotized by their beauty. As the others of the group went back to chatting, he wandered off tward those gorgeous green eyes.

"So you did come." His voice was silken and Hiei let it wash over him. It seemed like hadn't heard it's floating melody in forever...

"Yes...I did..."_I had to see you..._

"So...did you know Mukuro was in Ningenkai?" At this Hiei's stomache dropped.

"She is?" He tried to sound non-chalant, but was afraid that he hadn't been successful, because the Kitsune's eyes narrowed.

"Yes...She came to see me today..."

"Oh?"

"She also told me you were in love with me." A little chuckle escaped his throat, as if it were absolutely absurd.

Alarms rang out in Hiei's head. How would she know? How----How could she say that? So he laughed, all too loudly, as if it where a completley false notion.

"That's idiotic!" He replied, pain welling inside of him as the lie slipped off of his tongue. "What would make her think something so stupid?"

* * *

He wanted to rip off his ears to close out Hiei's laughter, gouge out his eyes so he couldn't see the smile on his face. How could he laugh?! Kurama told himself he should have known better than to hope. Known better than to wish that the notion could be true. However, he forced himself to smile at his friend. "Hiei, if you will exuse me for a moment..." He walked briskly away and into the bathroom before Hiei could see the single tear slip down his cheek.

_My heartstrings play_

_Their mournful song_

_And I hold_

_My poison near_

_And before I give _

_Into my fate_

_I shed_

_One final tear..._

Once in the bathroom he laid his hands upon the sink and looked in the mirror. He felt hideous. If Hiei couldn't love him, no one could love him. He hated himself for loving someone he couldn't have. Kurama sunk his hand into his pocket and the smooth glass of the bottle sang its song of temptation. He pulled it out slowly, letting the excitement wash over him. He knew that he should know better, knowing the secrets of death, but he didn't seem to care. He clamped down on his fear and brought the bottle slowly to his lips.

_And you won't have to wonder_

_You will make yourself anew _

_But inside I feel like dying_

_I fear I'm losing you_

* * *

Hiei turned slowly from where he stood walking, slowly out the door. How could she say that to the Kitsune, how could he laugh? It was...too much. He had to leave before he said something he'd regret. As he left, the chatter faded into silence and the only thing that spoke to him was the crickets chirping thier song. He walked around back, the glinting of a full moon lighting his way. He couldn't cry, he willed himself NOT to cry. As he walked through the back, the trees now shading the moon from his gaze he looked in the windows. Yusuke and Kuabara were laughing with their friends, smiling and probably not even realizing he was gone. It was probably for the best. He didn't belong in that world, he belonged on the outside, just watching the happiness within.

As he passed the windows one after another he saw a flash of crimson. He went to that window and saw his Kitsune...He was standing above the bathroom sink. And was he...Crying? It was unmistakable, the droplets streaming down his cheeks were no doubt tears. But suddenly Kurama smiled and pulled a small bottle from his pocket. Hiei reconized the symbol upon the bottle...This mixture was cyanide! He watched in horror as his Kitsune put the bottle to his lips.

Everything suddenly came rushing back to him...All the memories of his love...His beautiful Kitsune. A wave of terror filled him at losing his friend...His love and he rushed through, as fast as he could, shattering the window and throwing himself at the kitsune. Tears streamed down his face and gems hit the floor. They landed in a tangle of bodies and Hiei pressed his lips to Kurama's.

"Baka Kitsune." He whispered.

_As the dams in my eyes_

_Break free_

_My heart fills with unspoken love..._

* * *

Author's babble:_ It's finally here...The climax! I know I have made you wait a good long time for this, but hey we're here now...But this is not the end...No it's not there are still just a few more chappies to go. Thank you so much to all of my reviewers YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!! Your awesome the last chappie is coming just hang in there OK THX SO MUCH AND CHOW FOR NOW!!!!_


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter Ten_

_Love_

_"Baka No Kitsune..." _He heard the words and felt a soft pair of lips touch his own as he faded in and out of blackness.

The searing pain in his chest was almost enough to cast him into unconsciousness. He willed his eye lids to open. They were heavy from the poisons pulsing through his veins, and protested at the exertion. In front of him were the beautiful crimson eyes that had haunted his dreams. They were large and searching, those of a child, afraid and helpless.

As the gorgeous orbs filled with tears he almost wished that he hadn't swallowed the bottle of cyanide. Hadn't tried to take his life. He may not have been able to be with Hiei...But at least he could have watched him, loved him from a distance. But he_ had_ put the bottle up to his lips. _Had_ taken the poisons into his body. It was too late to change things.

Hiei's lips were moving...But...He couldn't quite make out the words. His ears buzzed with protest to the sound. His body wanted to shut down, but he wouldn't let it, not yet. With death looming at his door his courage mounted. Now he could say what he had always wanted...Without having to face the disgusted looks from his friend afterward.

"Ai Shiteru...Ni...Hiei..." His breaths came in little gasps as his heart pounded faster, harder, seeming to want to break it's way through his ribs. He closed his eyes willing in death, to avoid the disgusted look his love was certain to give. But instead of distaste all that he saw was longing in the little fire apparition's eyes.

* * *

"Ai...Shi..Teru Ni...My love..." A single tear fell from Hiei's eye as he stared down at Kurama. The words he had just spoken wrenched at his heart. He was the reason that his friend was hurting. It was his fault, dammit! How could he not have known?

The Kitsune smiled, but didn't seem to hear his words. He reached up slowly and touched a pale, and shaking yet, achingly delicate hand against the little youkai's cheek.

As Kurama's eyes closed and he slipped into the realm of unconsciousness terror filled Hiei. "No! Didn't you hear me dammit! I love you! I've always loved you! Don't go! I'm so Sorry!" Didn't he understand? Hiei would gladly go back in time...Give his love...His LIFE to the Kitsune.

Sobs racked his body painfully as he held Kurama. He had been too late. He hadn't been able to stop his friend..No..His love. The only one he would ever love. He was gone now, and he would never return. His limbs became heavy as the reality crashed into him like waves on the ocean shore. He couldn't seem to hold his head up, the swirling sensation behind his eyes marring his vision and his balance. He laid his head on Kurama's chest allowing his sobs to come freely, but a sound invaded his ears. A shallow beating sound. Hiei quieted. It was a pulse! Dear God, he was alive!

He picked up Kurama's body, shuddering at how thin his love had become. He was almost weightless as Hiei hauled him into his arms and forced his way out of the bathroom, toward the crowd of people laughing and talking at the reception.

* * *

"Oh...My God..." Yusuke whispered in horror as he saw Kurama limp in Hiei's arms. The smaller man was almost engulfed in Kurama's tall frame, but the former spirit detective didn't miss the tears in the little demon's eyes.

"We have...to get help..." Hiei seemed to force the words to squeak out of his throat. "He swallowed...poison...He's still alive...He needs...help." Little gems clicked to the floor in front of Hiei, and everyone's eyes swung to the odd pair, wondering just what had happened in the bathroom.

Kuabara hurried to a phone and dialed for an ambulance, while Yukina shooed everyone out of the reception hall to their proper vehicles. The two were a good team, and they handled everything in a very short amount of time. They were fairly close to the hospital so an ambulance should be there in a matter of minutes. Yususke attempted to explain this to Hiei, but the little man squirmed uncomfortably.

"But I could get him there faster...He needs help NOW!"

Yusuke tried futilely to calm the little man's fears by explaining that Kurama would be fine. He would get the help he needed. Hiei still seemed restless, and just about as he was about to give in and let Hiei take the Kitsune to the hospital he heard the wailing of sirens in the parking lot, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

They had only been able to allow one person into the ambulance and everyone opted for Hiei to ride. He was obviously the most distressed out of all of them, having had seen the incident and being closer to Kurama than any of them. As he rode with the EMT's he smoothed back the Kitsune's hair. It was dull and sweat beaded on his forehead. As he laid there he moaned and writhed, speaking incoherent conjurings to the demons of his mind.

Hiei choked back his tears. It killed him to see his love in such distress. Feverish splotches marred his handsome face, as did the paleness of his sunken cheeks. There were monitors hooked to him, and the doctor was holding a mask over his face. Yusuke had said that this thing that Hiei had though a device of torture was to help his friend breath.

The doctor...Oh he was such an ass. Hiei knew that the man could see that he was distressed, yet the bastard wouldn't stop questioning him. "Were you with the patient during the act?"

Hiei nodded in silent response.

"What did the patient swallow, exactly?"

He grit his teeth and uttered out, "Cyanide." He could see the look of disgust on the doctor's face. This man was really starting to piss him off.

"And about how much did the patient consume?"

" I don't know exactly...About two ounces, I'm guessing." He said it with a hint of warning.

"Did the patient take it intentionally."

This is when Hiei snapped. That was NOT something this man needed to know! He stood up in the ambulance, and the doctor scooted away from the small, fuming man. "For one you pompous ass, that PATIENT has a name! And for two...What the hell does intentionally or not matter?! He still took it! Now, your job is to save his life, so do your God damn JOB!!"

Hiei didn't hear another peep out of the EMT the rest of the way to the hospital.

He had never been in a hospital before and the smell bombarded his senses as he entered. The sterile white mixed with the glare of florescent light stung his eyes, but he ignored it. He needed to stay with Kurama.

It was all very confusing. First they took Kurama away and wouldn't let him go with his friend. They were saying something about surgery. This alarmed Hiei. No one was going to cut into his friend. He was about to start fighting when he remembered what Yusuke had said before Hiei had gotten into the ambulance.

_"Remember, Hiei, they may force you away from him...Listen to them, they are probably taking his to get his stomach pumped. They know what's best for him...And if you can't trust them, trust me. We'll be there in a matter of minutes."_

It took all of his will to back away and let them wheel his friend into a room with machines attached to almost every open space on his body. Then they led him to an empty and desolate room near the area where they had taken Kurama. He sat down on one of the chairs in the room. The hard cushion wasn't much better than if it had been wooden, and he shifted to find a comfortable position, to no avail.

He looked around the room and a pot of coffee and Styrofoam cups caught his attention. Hiei poured himself a cup of the thick, black brew and took a generous swallow. He let the warmth filter through his body, but he still felt...So cold.

Soon his friends arrived. Yukina still wore her wedding dress, and as she shivered Kuabara shed his jacket and laid it over his little wife's shoulders. She leaned into him, and when he circled her with his oversized arms she stopped shivering. Hiei almost laughed. At least one good thing had come out of this night. Yukina had found a man that she loved, and that loved her back. No matter how much he hated the big ogre...He was a good man, and he would love and cherish Yukina until the day he died.

Hiei had that too now...Now that he knew the depth of Kurama's feelings. And then and there he swore that no matter what...If his Kitsune lived through the night...He would let him know how much he loved him, and how miserable he had been without him. He swore to himself that Kurama would be his. That he would be his to cherish and love until the day he died...and beyond.

_Authors Babble: Thank you so much to all of my reviewers. You guys ROCK! In fact, I got the idea for this chappie from my buddy and fellow writer Blackrose Kitsune. She usually reads all of my stuff prior to posting, but this is even a surprise to her. This is more than anything an elaboration on chappie nine and may help to sooth some of the disappointment found in chapter nine for lack of description. Pretty much with chapter nine I had a horrible writers block and decided to force my way past it...Bad writing or no. I know that is no exuse for bad writing but, now my block is gone and I hope this one is better than chappie nine. Thank you SO MUCH to all of my reviewers. And a special thanks to blackrose for helping me so much and being my unofficial editor. Don't clock out of the story quite yet, though. I still have another chapter or two in me...And in my lovers.. Remember we still have Mukuro to deal with. If there are any suggestions to do this I don't have that planned out yet so e-mail me at_ _ any suggestions are welcome...Except killing Mukuro...Already thought that over and can't make it work. Thank You SO MUCH and Caoi._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Never Lost

The waiting room was deathly quiet as they waited impatiently for the doctors to emerge from the cold room in which they were keeping Kurama. Hiei could see shadows moving behind a narrow window of glass. He assumed that these were the physicians that had wheeled the Kitsune into the room, his scarlet hair fanning out on the gurney. He would never forget his how his normally glowing skin had yellowed and become pasty. He wanted so badly to burst into the room and steal away his beautiful Kitsune. He fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat, unable to sit still. He could feel Yusuke's eyes on him, waiting for the time to come for him to stop Hiei if the little demon decided to rush the door and carry Kurama away. Just as he was about to attempt to rescue the Kitsune from the sterile room they had trapped him in one of the doctors emerged, slowly removing his gloves and gazing intensely at the ground. Everyone in the room sat erect, awaiting the word from the man on Kurama's condition.

"We've done all we can, but it's too early to be sure how he will react to the treatment we've given him. It's best for you all to go home and get some rest. You can come back in the morning, and if he's well enough you can see him then."

"What the hell do you mean tomorrow?" Hiei stood, fury shaking his little body. "How the hell do you expect us to wait until then you fool?" What if the Kitsune were gone by then?

Just as he was about to end the annoying doctor's miserable life he felt Yusuke's hand land on his shoulder. "Hiei we'll wait until tomorrow." Hiei's head swung around and he opened his mouth to scold the former spirit detective for his incompetence, but was stopped short by his wink. He nodded in silent understanding.

"Fine." He followed the others out of the gaping doorway entering the heart of the human city. The scent of exhaust and trash burned his nose. This place's scent was more noxious than the winds of demon world. All of the others waved goodbye to each other, and went their separate ways. Only Hiei lingered, Yusuke's unspoken hint fresh in his mind. He could not wait until the morning to confess his love to Kurama. He may be gone by the time the sun rose…..

Hiei braced himself and jumped, scaling the walls of the hospital, flitting across the platforms and window sills. He had memorized the room that Kurama had been wheeled to when they had exited the ambulance. Finally he reached the window and gazed into it. To his relief Kurama's skin had finally taken on some color, and his body was still, not pale and shaky as it had been before. Maybe Yusuke had been right in trusting the human doctors. He lifted the window slowly and carefully, trying not to wake the beautiful, sleeping Kitsune. He crept across the room to Kurama's bedside and stared at the achingly beautiful frame that lay before him.

"You stupid fox….." He whispered quietly into the dark, dismal room, his words echoing off of the sterilized walls. His eyes began to well up with tears once again. He hated himself for these damned emotions and yet hated that his avoiding them so long had caused so much pain to the one he loved. And now, because of his stubbornness he may lose the Kitsune forever…He breathed deeply, squelching most of the liquid droplets forming in the corners of his eyes. "Stupid….Fox…." One single tear slipped down his cheek and clicked on the floor.

"Don't cry….Hiei." The voice entered his ears, silken and smooth. _Kurama…._ "I do not deserve your tears." Hiei's eyes snapped up to the beautiful man laying in front of him. Emerald orbs shone in the darkness, piercing the shadow surrounding them. Hiei's words caught in his throat. He was stunned that the Kitsune was so obviously alive.

Kurama's gaze fell to the floor, his eyes sad and desperate. "You must be disgusted by me…."

"You're a fool." Hiei whispered, his words finally freed from the confines of his throat. "I could never be disgusted by you…..I love you….."

Kurama's eyes flew up to meet Hiei's, his eyes wide in disbelief. "But-"

In one swift movement he captured the Kitsune's lips with his own, softly caressing the contours of his mouth. Kurama's eyes slowly closed and Hiei deepened the kiss, probing the Kitsune's wonderfully luscious lips. This was everything he had hoped it to be. His stomach turned to liquid and warmth filtered through his body. When Hiei finally pulled away he gazed into the Kitsune's eyes. "I have always loved you….so don't you _dare_ do anything like that to me again…..You stupid fox….."

"Hiei?" Kurama stared at the little demon, his soft green eyes searching and confused.

"Come home soon. I'll be waiting for you when you get there." He turned to hide the bright flush that covered his cheeks and jumped to the window sill of the room.

"Hiei…." Kurama whispered, his voice soft and shaken. "I….I love you, Hiei."

Hiei smiled to himself, secretly delighted at Kurama's words. He nodded his head in acknowledgement and flitted with the wind out the window into the night.


	12. Chapter 12

Chap 12

He hopped gracefully across the rooftops of the city, his feet barely skimming the cement below his feet. He hoped that maybe he could find something to comfort Kurama in his pain at his house. It seemed to take no time at all to find the beautiful rose gardens that adorned the yard of his beautiful home. Hiei wished that his home where like this. He would never admit it, but he secretly loved Kurama's flowers. He wished that one day his home could be adorned with them, not dark and foreboding as Mukuro's had been. He opened the window quickly and silently, slipping into Kurama's bedroom. He began rifling through the dressers, his fingers fumbling for anything that Kurama may find comforting

"It's wrong to snoop in someone's house, Hiei." Her voice was cold and gravely, ice coating the words as they seethed out of her mouth.

Hiei's hair prickled along the back of his neck as he turned to face Mukuro. She steeped to him, her stride quick and confident. His hand moved instinctively to his sword, ready to defend himself if her actions deemed it necessary.

She glanced down to his hand, her eyes sparking defensively. "I'm not here to fight you, Hiei."

His eyes narrowed and he gripped the hilt of his weapon. "Then why are you here?"

"Well," she smiled cynically. "I was hoping Youko Kurama would come home."

Hiei's eyes blazed in the darkness. It was as if his soul had caught fire and it reflected in his crimson orbs. "You will not touch him." His voice was glazed with shards of ice that seemed to shatter all around her.

Hiei did not miss the glimmer of sadness that gleamed fleetingly in her eyes. "And then I realized that you would always hate me if I killed him."

He was sure that his overwhelming shock showed in every contour of his face. Was this really the cold, calculating former lord of spirit world?

"Hiei?" Her voice was so soft that it seemed to echo in his head. "Is this really what you want?"

He nodded quickly. He _knew_ that this was where he wanted to be….Wherever his Kitsune was.

"Hm…" She smiled a soft, sad smile that he had never before seen on Mukuro's face. "Then I guess you've finally found your place. You finally belong to something, like you never would to me."

With that she faded into the darkness of the night. He followed her shadowy form out the window until she disappeared. As he gazed out to the gardens, his eyes fell on the roses that had flourished under Kurama's practiced hand. He smiled. She had been right. He did finally belong…to someone…..

Kurama took in a long, deep breath of fresh air. He had been in the hospital for only a couple of days before they had allowed him to leave. Yusuke and Kuwabara had come almost daily to check on him. To his surprise they had never asked him any questions concerning the happenings at the reception. Maybe they didn't want to know, or maybe they already knew more than he thought. Regardless, they where both waiting for him outside of the hospital doors.

"Kurama!" Yusuke jumped on him, trapping him into a friendly hug.

"We thought you'd never get outa there!" Kuwabara laughed, his voice echoing loudly in the parking lot.

"Hey," Yusuke's face contorted to confusion. "Where's Hiei? That little punk was really worried about ya….And he's not even here!"

"Ya!" Kuwabara added. "I don't even think he came to visit."

Kurama chuckled. They didn't realize that after Hiei had disappeared the first night, Kurama had awoken to a single rose, expertly cut, lying by his bedside. Since then Hiei had never left the hospital. For the rest of his time there, all Kurama had to do was gaze out his window and from only a few rooftops away he could see Hiei's crimson orbs glimmering brilliantly. Though, he did have to wonder where Hiei was now. He had to wonder if the little demon hadn't run away to demon world again to be with Mukuro. Had his words of affection been false? Or perhaps a dream?

After a few jovial words with his friends Kurama signaled a taxi and instructed the driver to hurry to his home address. As they pulled in he breathed a great sigh of relief and payed the cab driver.

"Shuichi! I'm so glad you're home!" Shiori reached out and gathered her son into her arms. "When you're friends told me that you were leaving for a few days to celebrate Kuwabara's wedding I was a bit shocked."

Kurama had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from chuckling. So that was the excuse that his friends had made up? He was happy, though that they had kept his hospital visit from his mother. He had already caused her enough grief in her life. He didn't wish to burden her with the knowledge of his near fatal incident.

"Well?" Her voice shook him from his thoughts. "Was it fun?"

"Yes mother. It was very fun."

"Good." She smiled sweetly at him. "Now go upstairs and get some rest. You can tell me all about it later."

He nodded and returned her smile, silently happy that she had given him a few hours to ponder the best story regarding his 'trip'. His legs still slightly weak, he climbed the steep steps to his room. He opened the creaking door with a sigh. He dreaded the emptiness and silence awaiting him in this room. It would give him time to think, but thinking was the last thing he needed to do right then.

"What's wrong, Fox?" A familiar voice entered his ears and his heart beat hastened.

His lips stretched across his face into a genuine smile. "So you did come."

"I told you I would be waiting for you." His shadowy figure emerged from the corner of the bedroom. He walked to the bed and flopped onto it nonchalantly. "Or did you think I wouldn't keep my word?"

Elation filled every pore of Kurama's flesh as he realized that Hiei's confession had not been a poison induced dream. Hiei had truly accepted his love…Even confessed his own. He dropped the overnight bag that had been slung across his shoulders and flew across the room to the beautiful little demon lying so conveniently on his bed. He quickly captured Hiei's lips with his own and to his delight Hiei not only accepted the kiss, but deepened it, sweetly probing his mouth. As a closed his eyes and pressed his body against the little fire demon, he thought of the stars he had taken down from his ceiling. Now he wouldn't need them. Now he had his little fireball tucked safely in his arms, never to be lost.

* * *

Author's babble: Srry peoples. This was actually supposed to be the end of chapter 11, and thus the end of losing you. However, my computer did something funny and didn't upload the second part of the chapter. So….HERE is the final chapter to Losing You. Here, albeit long overdue. Thank you for being so patient (or impatient) with me as I fumbled through my life, with my muse, and through this fic. I sincerely appreciate all of my reviewers. ESPECIALLY those who have been patient with me as they followed the ups and definite downs of this fic. A great HUGE thank you to blackrose Kitsune, my fellow author and one of my best friends. I really appreciate all the help you have given me with brainstorming all of this fic, even this last part. I heart you my midget. There IS another fic coming out. Give it a week and the first chappie will be out. Love you all! Dillio OUT!


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